Roll on this weekend, when the North East hosts the biggest sporting event to capture the nations attention in this area since Euro96 and last year when Gazza tried to get involved in the manhunt of Raoul Moat.
Yes its the National Road Race Championships, held here in Northumberland and we will play host to the finest road cyclists Britain has to offer.
The setting is the unassuming and quiet village of Stamfordham, which, up til this weekend, its main claim to fame was Jackie Chan lives there. Oh is it Jackie Charlton? I'm hopeless with names. Whichever one it is that likes Fishing and sold Chrissy Waddle to Spurs, and not the one who was in Police Story!
Creating a championship-worthy course in the North East is not too difficult. Asides from the quieter roads we have up here,we're enriched with moorlands across Northumberland and Durham with long windswept slopes, small, single track lanes akin to those in Belgium and many a hilly area to break things up.
Or what you could do is go 'Ah, just take them up the Ryals a few times'
The Ryals. The 'dreaded Ryals'. You can read some articles of just how tough this hill really IS. With a section of 1in3 to tackle. Well, I've rode up here many many many times, and that started off as a 14 year old on a Raleigh Banana with a bottom gear of 42x21. And I sure as hell can say, I've never seen a 1in3 section. Waughy is said to have raced up there in the big ring. Mind you, we can't consider the exploits of Mr. Joe Waugh as 'normal' to the rest of us!
1in 3? Pah. Oh, wait now - is that the bit next to the Fountain of Eternal Youth, right opposite the Ryal gift shop? Here you can buy T-Shirts saying 'I Romped up the Ryals' and for those who failed 'The Ryals romped ME' (only available in sizes XXL and above)
The Mens race does 3 Laps of the Ryals before heading onto a 4 Lap Finishing circuit. For the women, its one big lap,then 3 smaller ones.
Lets look at the favourites for the men's event. Apologies for the names, but I just briefly glanced at the startsheet so the spellings might be a bit wrong. Most notable has got to be Bradley Wiggles from Team Sky. I don't know WHAT he wiggles exactly, although I'm sure the ladies are keen to find out, but the bold Bradley recently won the Dauphine Libere stage race in France. First Brit since Robert Millar in 1990. Looking down the list of winners and if you put on your 'Doping didn't really happen' goggles then there's a fine list of past winners there, no mugs to be seen. Although I struggle to recall what else Inigo Landeluze has won. But I DO remember Floyd Landis lose his case against his ban a few years ago! (Sorry - terrible joke!)
We are also priviledged to see multiple Tour de France stage winner, Mark Ovendish ride the race. Mark is exceptional when it comes to the Finish, but with a name like Ovendish, I thought it would be more a case of Finish being exceptional on him?
Rumour has it that he is riding the Crit on Friday night round Leazes Park in Newcastle. The other rumour going round is that the baby-faced super sprinter, tried to sneakily enter the Under 12's race in order to save his legs for Sunday.
One competitor from Fenham Middle school made a complaint, saying "That's proper not fair, that like.We're gonna look like geet tramps cos Tour riders divvent have Kelloggs Frosties spoke reflectors on and Ben10 bike helmets, like"
Also riding is current British Champion, also from Team Sky - Gerrin Ter-myass, supported by such esteemed team-mates as 2009 Tour of Ireland winner, Rusty Downtube and Ben Swift, who is expected to be a bit quick.
After 3 successive 2nd places, Peter Ken-Hom will be looking for the right ingredients for success at the 4th attempt.
Rapha Condor will be there, boasting 2009 winner, Kristian House, who you can expect to be a bit jaded, having just finished filming the 8th series of his popular American medical drama with Hugh Laurie.
Despite being one of the oldest guys on the Pro racing scene now, you can expect that 1992 Junior Cyclo-cross World Champion, Roger Hammock wont be taking defeat lying down.
Apart from the Rapha team, there's strong UK based teams in the form of Endura, Motorpoint and the Orbea team will be hoping Mike Cumin can spice things up a bit. There's 8 riders from '100% ME' who once rejected a fantastic rider who had a prosthetic hand because he was deemed to be only 93.78% ME.
What of the Local lads? I hear you ask. Well,sorry to report but I can't say its a strong showing from our local boys. This might be exceedingly unfair to Raleigh's Matt Kipling, and Adam, from Blyth might also do a good ride. Special mention goes to my old school mate who I started cycling with after our paper rounds, 3 years ago - Ian Taylor. Not new to riding big events, Ian will be hoping for some more uplifting Ryal road Graffiti than last years 'Go Ian' !! The only two 'Local lads from a local club' are Velo 29's Dan Smith and Get Carter. ('Go Get'? nahh... wouldn't work either) Lastly our two adopted Geordies are Mossy and Bushy. Young James ought to do a good ride, but when somebody told me 'Bushy is riding' I promptly gasped 'Kate Bush!?' I would never have guessed it was Chris - have a great ride over the Wuthering Heights of the Ryals, Chris, and ALL the Geordie boys.
I was dearly hoping to get enough points to regain my 2nd Cat licence to enter it myself, for a laugh like. I was on my way nicely til I did my mad stuntman impression into the tarmac last month. I rang British Cycling and asked if I could combine the points on my driving licence to my racing licence to bump it up to the requirement. It was a full minute before I realized why the line went quiet.
Lets not forget that there are TWO championships being decided this weekend and there is an equally strong field competing for the Womens title with such names as Lizzie Armwrestle, Emma Pooley-Bridge and that Welsh lass whats won everything thrice over. Just the one local lass riding, as being a Sunday morning most of them will be locked up for fighting down the quayside but sole representative is Dr David Crawford's daughter, Jenny Stanning (riding for Edinburgh RC) so big shouts for her on Sunday. In fact there is a very strong contingent from Scotland including the Sandy Wallace squad.
I'll be there supporting and cheering, and for one rider in particular - Giant Asia's Alex Coutts. Winner of the 2008 Tour of Thailand and worthy of a top ten this weekend. Alex has raced the continental scene for many a year now, including as a Pro in Belgium for the Flanders team. So, I think its only fair, at the British champs,to turn up with a bright yellow Flandrian flag and full Belgian champs clothing. Well...its the only flag I have, and I'm not cleaning my rusty, dirty clothes pole-cum-flag pole by putting a clean, new Union Jack on it!!
In fact, why not make it a truly memorable and 'World championship' themed affair and give them Ryals a bit of atmosphere? Someone could bring some Swiss cow bells to ring, Evan Oilypants could pack after a lap and play his legendary bagpipes. Someone might have a South African vuzuvula and some French or Spanish could maybe bring back our bloody summer sun!!
See you there everyone!
Madmicky
